noun [duhm·bel rak]
a piece of equipment where you get dumbbells from and perform exercises directly in front of instead of using your fucking brain to grab the desired weight and then step back a couple hundred thousand feet so people are free to also grab weight without having to wait for you to finish being in the fucking way. see also: IQ TEST
noun [uh·doh·bee geinz]
when a pic is subjected to Photoshop sorcery to make the person in it appear in better shape than they actually are because no one who runs into them in real life will ever look at them and think, “Hey, this motherfucker looks nothing like how they look on their social media feed that I can easily pull up on my phone right now and do a comparison with!” see also: GOOD IDEA
Example of Adobe Gains in a Sentence
Remember the SHREDZ scandal from a couple years ago when one of their fitfluencers, Devin Physique, was exposed for having Adobe gains?
abbr [ey·tee·pee]
1. adenosine triphosphate (a nucleotide that’s the main source of energy for many cellular processes, such as the muscle contractions necessary to get off your ass and go do something active, which is shit that you never seem to have the energy for). see also: IRONIC
Example of ATP in a Sentence
It’s not that I’m lazy, it’s just that my ATP, the body’s battery, has a very, very slow charging time!
2. otherwise known as the body’s energy currency for a reason that can be explained by comparing the way energy gets stored and transferred in the body to the way money gets deposited and withdrawn from a bank but, luckily for you, won’t be explained that way because that metaphor will fly over your head because your broke ass can’t relate to it. see also: SALARY
Example of ATP in a Sentence
ATP is generated in mitochondria. Yes, the production of ATP, the energy molecule that’s the common component of many reactions, takes place in mitochondria. Ahhhhhhhh, I see the light bulb is going off in your head now as to why mitochondria is called the powerhouse of the cell, which is the ONLY thing you remember from biology class. Well, that is, it’s the only thing you remember other than the abject boredom because that shit was a total snoozefest!
noun [ak·tiv lahyf·stahyl]
a way of living that integrates physical activity into daily life so movement is performed throughout the day; important for staying healthy and living longer to spend even more years of your life working to make the ownership class richer thanks to the high cost of living, erosion of private sector unions and traditional pension funds, and dwindling social security payments. see also: TERRIBLE SELLING POINT
Example of Active Lifestyle in a Sentence
After my doctor ran down some reasons why I need to start living a more active lifestyle, I politely told him to go fuck himself because I’m here for a good, NOT a long, time.
noun [ab·duhk·ters]
the muscles located in the buttocks and hip that not only allowed you to spread your legs and become the most popular girl in high school and college but are now also helping you as you sleep your way up the corporate ladder. see also: THUMBS UP
Example of Abductors in a Sentence
Damn, I don’t know how you pulled that out of your ass but you’re absolutely correct that the hip abductors are the muscle group that’s engaged by this hip abduction machine I’m about to show you how to use!
