noun [jim mir·er]
a glass object that reflects images and is used for gym selfies by standing directly in front of people stupid enough to want to use it to monitor their lifting technique while performing an exercise movement. see also: INVISIBLE
noun [ek·ser·sahyz]
1. that movement in the gym that you’re butchering the execution of and is causing everyone to whip out their phone and record you so they can clown you on their social media feed instead of being courteous enough to offer unsolicited advice that you’ll ignore. see also: ENTERTAINMENT
2. physical activity that’s sometimes done as a substitute for therapy instead of getting the professional help that’s desperately needed to resolve anger, stress, or trauma that’s thiiiiiiiiisssss close to simmering over into a murder-suicide.
3. not as big of a reason as you would like to believe why you are or aren’t losing weight.
verb [ek·ser·sahyz]
4. to do physical activities in order to flood the social media feeds of followers with gym selfies, workout videos shot from fucked up angles, and grammatically challenged status updates, with the incessant denial that such action is attention-whoring and not about motivating others. see also: VALIDATION
noun [tohn]
1. a word that laypeople and so-called “fitness professionals” are still using in the context of muscle appearing firm and clearly defined when its proper use is in relation to the involuntary tension maintained in skeletal tissue at rest in anticipation of the muscle’s use. see also: MIGRAINE
verb [tohn]
2. to make a body part possess muscular definition without the person in pursuit of muscular definition having to utter that what they’re fucking after is “muscle”, a much reviled word. see also: SELF-DECEIT
noun [pur·suh·nl trey·ner]
1. a person who just began their fitness journey and already has the years of experience under their belt to advise others in the ways of exercise and nutrition for a nominal fee, of course. see also: CHARLATAN
2. a person who’s paid to provide exercise instructions but spends most of the time with their head bent down looking at their phone. see also: THIEF
noun [hi·pur·truh·fee]
a very simple word people butcher the pronunciation of when trying to sound above their level of education when talking to others about fitness, particularly muscle growth and the diet and exercise methods conducive for it. see also: PRETENTIOUS
