Category: Glossary

cardio

noun [kahr·dee·oh]
1. aerobic exercise of low to high intensity that elevates the heart rate, strengthens the lungs, improves endurance, and has calorie-burning benefits that your fat ass wishes you had done more of as your running away slows down and your murderer catches up to you. see also: VICTIM

2. a special kind of torture done mostly by those who want to lose fat and look good but think they have dormant mutant genes that’ll turn them into muscle-bound freakazoids if they even dare step in the free weight area and lift heavy ass shit. see also: WOMEN

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aesthetic

adj [es·thet·ik]
an overused term largely employed by gym brahs who think they look muscular and fit when, in fact, their six-pack and general leanness is owed to their just being skinny, making them not that impressive as they flex in the mirror in between every set in their stringer tank top. see also: DELUSIONAL

Example of aesthetic in a Sentence
I have no plans on ever bulking to put any considerable size on my scrawny frame because I don’t want to ruin this aesthetic figure!

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genetics

noun [juh·net·iks]
the inherited properties or features passed down from parents to their offspring that are the reason why their adult child looks like crap — not because of their bad diet, lack of proper exercise, or other poor decisions. see also: BLAMELESS

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