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The Secret To Big Biceps

The Secret To Bigger Biceps written in text with image of a flexed cartoon arm.

The Secret To Big Biceps

The Secret To Bigger Biceps written in text with image of a flexed cartoon arm.

Some guys like me have bazookas for arms.

And some guys like you have pea-shooters.

That’s because there’s a secret to making the arms bigger.1You know how chicks say they’re working out their legs and give you the impression of working out the entire muscle group when they actually mean just the glutes? Well, guys say arms when they’re really talking about the biceps — not the entire arm with the inclusion of the triceps and forearms!

The secret to bigger arms is a secret so secretive that not too many know about the secret, which is the point of a secret. Lucky for you, no secret is safe from me divulging it, which is what I’m gonna do with arm training.2But unlucky for you, no secret being safe from me sharing it also means your S/O should be expecting an email with photos of you canoodling with someone who isn’t your S/O!

So let’s get to it, shall we?

Well, the secret is…

…there is no fucking secret because developing the bis is like developing any other muscle!3The term “bis” is shorthand for biceps because writing out biceps is as exhaustive as writing out the word “at”, which we had to waste nanoseconds of our lives doing before some beautiful mind invented the @ symbol to save us from the drudgery of having to do all the typing necessary to spell “at”.

So like developing any other muscle you want to grow, you have to train the biceps directly.4TIP: Have a dedicated arm day to do direct arm work for your biceps, with it consisting of at least one heavy barbell movement and 2 to 3 exercises using dumbbells, cables, and/or machines to hit the bis from a variety of angles. Yeah, do that instead of falling for the dumb shit about there being no need to train your arms because they get enough indirect work from deadlifts, pull-ups, rows, masturbating, and all the other dumb shit people with unimpressive arms try to tell you so you too can have arms as unimpressive as theirs.

So like developing any other muscle you want to grow, you have to make sure the biceps are actually being used.5TIP: Lighten the load so you can go through a complete range of motion and actually use your biceps, the target muscle, to lift the weight rather than your back, shoulders, and legs. And when I say legs here, I actually mean the entire muscle group, not just your fucking glutes!!! Anyway, when at the top of the movement, squeeze the hell out of the biceps to create more tension and drive blood into them.

So like developing any other muscle you want to grow, you have to supply the biceps with the necessary fuel to do so.6TIP: Enter into a caloric surplus and stay in one for an extended period of time instead of barely eating or continuously cutting and bulking. So start by consuming at least 500 calories above maintenance and adjust your intake accordingly, with 25 percent of your total daily calories coming from fat, protein at 0.8 to 1.2 grams times your body weight, and the rest of your caloric needs coming from carbs.

There you have it, mystery solved!

If your lifelong dream is to have arms so big that people who don’t work out automatically think you’re a chronic masturbator because people who don’t work out are pretty stupid and think wanker’s arm is real, then what you just read is exactly what you needed!

But what if what’s written here isn’t helpful enough and you need even more information on the best way to get big arms?

In that case, I wouldn’t possibly know what to tell ya!7CLICK THE FUCKIN’ LINK!!!

Click through to go to Amazon.com to purchase an ebook by Monster Longe.

Glossary: arms, barbell, biceps, calories, deadlift, dumbbell, exercise, glutes, muscle, muscle group, work out


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