Stomach Crunches

Crunch: an exercise that defies human physiology by burning stomach fat to reveal a chiseled six-pack without its performer having to do anything else, like enter a negative caloric balance by eating less and/or doing more strenuous shit than moving the upper torso a few inches multiple times.

Abs are made in the kitchen.

That’s it!

What are you still reading for?!

What, you want me to tell you that doing stomach crunches to oblivion is pointless if there’s a thick slab of lard covering them?

What, you also want me to tell you that doing stomach crunches to oblivion won’t melt the thick slab of lard covering the abdominals?

Well, I’m not going to tell you a damn thing!

AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!!!

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