Q: I’m in terrible shape. Like, for real, I’m a fucking mess right now…and that’s putting it lightly! Yeah, I know, I should probably get my life in order. But how do you start exercising when you’re out of shape? Like, should I get in shape before joining a gym or should I just join a gym and get in shape there? Any help would be appreciated with my perfectly logical question! Continue reading Do You Need To Get In Shape Before Joining A Gym?
If you work out in a commercial gym, you’ve probably noticed that everyone trains their chest on Monday.
So rather than setting yourself apart and doing something different, why don’t you be like everyone else and jump in on the fray with this chest workout plan that you can do every damn Monday like it’s written in stone that you have to train chest on the first day of the week or else some unimaginable calamity will befall mankind.
Like an asteroid?
Plague?
Pestilence?
A sequel to the female-led Ghostbusters flick? Continue reading Every Damn Monday Chest Workout Plan
noun [week·end]
the period of time between Friday evening and Sunday night when you suddenly can’t eat the shit you’ve shown the discipline not to eat all week. see also: REALLY?!?!
Q: How do you put on weight? I’m asking because I’m skinny as fuck. How skinny? Ha, have you ever looked at a stick figure drawing and said that it looks jacked? Well, that’s because you haven’t seen me to compare it to! Real talk, I’m skinny as fuck!!! Continue reading How Do You Put On Weight?
One of my clients doesn’t call sick into work, comes in on her day off if help is needed, and works double shifts when she’s drafted to without bitching and moaning about it. Apparently, she’s a good employee. Well, she’s back from a month long assignment in Arizona.
She started at 150 lbs and got down to 132 lbs before her job told her that she had to work out of town for the month. She had two options:
1). Use that as an excuse to fuck away several months of hard work
or
2). Try to the best of her ability to maintain her progress with no gym activity and less than ideal food choices.
After a month away, she came back yesterday weighing 137 lbs.
So it appears that she decided to go the second route.
The lesson here?
That it’s possible to make the best out of a bad situation?
Ummmmmm…no!
The lesson is that you shouldn’t put yourself in a bad situation in the first place by being such a good fucking worker that your employer entrusts you with even greater responsibility that can help advance your career, which interferes with and is waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy less important than what you hired me to do!!!
