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B-B-But I Eat Healthy!!!

B-B-But I Eat Healthy!!!

Eating “healthy” to most of you means ordering pineapple on your pizza or drinking diet soda with your super-sized fast food meal.

But let’s assume that eating “healthy” actually means eating healthy, like salads, muesli, and other blah shit.

Well, eating “healthy” doesn’t mean shit if you’re taking in more calories than you should be, which isn’t something that automatically becomes impossible to do just because you’re eating a diet of boring food I wouldn’t even wish on my worst enemy.

So stop being fat and telling me that you don’t know how you are when you eat healthy!!!


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Monster Longe
Latest posts by Monster Longe (see all)

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Squat

squat

verb [skwot]
to lower your hips and bend your knees until they’re at least 90 degrees before recovering from whatever hallucination you’re having because that’s the only instance you ever get that low. see also: INCHES

MORE WORDS

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Do You Need To Get In Shape Before Joining A Gym?

Do You Need To Get In Shape Before Joining A Gym?

Q: I’m in terrible shape. Like, for real, I’m a fucking mess right now…and that’s putting it lightly! Yeah, I know, I should probably get my life in order. But how do you start exercising when you’re out of shape? Like, should I get in shape before joining a gym or should I just join a gym and get in shape there? Any help would be appreciated with my perfectly logical question! Continue reading Do You Need To Get In Shape Before Joining A Gym?

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Every Damn Monday Chest Workout Plan

In the market for a chest workout plan? Preferably one you can do on Mondays? Look…no…further!

In the market for a chest workout plan? Preferably one you can do on Mondays? Look…no…further!

If you work out in a commercial gym, you’ve probably noticed that everyone trains their chest on Monday.

So rather than setting yourself apart and doing something different, why don’t you be like everyone else and jump in on the fray with this chest workout plan that you can do every damn Monday like it’s written in stone that you have to train chest on the first day of the week or else some unimaginable calamity will befall mankind.

Like an asteroid?

Plague?

Pestilence?

A sequel to the female-led Ghostbusters flick? Continue reading Every Damn Monday Chest Workout Plan