cheat meal
noun [cheet meel]
an occasion for eating everything you please as a reward for not eating everything you please; basically, when you treat yourself for following your diet by not following your diet. see also: BRILLIANT
Spotting
spot
verb [spot]
1. to provide assistance in the performance of an exercise while telling the lifter that it’s all them when in fact it’s not all them because you’re getting more of a workout moving the waaaayyyyy tooooooooo heavy weight for them than they are. see also: BENCH PRESS
noun [spot]
2. the only acceptable time when a macho, macho man will allow another macho, macho man to tea bag him like during the bench press or ride him from behind like during squats, at least in public. see also: HOMOEROTIC
MORE WORDS
Knocked Down
Emotional heartache after finding out your boo-bear was not only cheating on you but with someone much, much less hotter than you?
Ran an idea through someone you trusted who said it was stupid but then turned around and stole it and is now a mega-millionaire thanks to it?
Underemployed and have student debt that’ll take you three lifetimes to pay off because your parents spent the buttload of money left to you by your grandparents on shoes, clothes, fancy dinners, and other shit for themselves instead of squirreling the money away for your college education and beyond?
A horde of barbarians ransacked your village and burned it to the ground then sold you into slavery, which you worked your way out of?
What’s a person to do?!?! Continue reading Knocked Down
Holding You Back
What’s keeping you from doing or becoming the great thing you were destined to do or become?
My, what a silly question!
The answer is E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E!!!
Everyone’s holding you back!
If it weren’t for them, you’d be [insert whatever] by now.
But instead, your life plans haven’t panned out the way they were supposed to.
And it’s all…thanks…to…them!
I don’t know who the fuck “them” is, but trust me that I’m on your side. Continue reading Holding You Back
¡Arriba, Arriba! ¡Ándale, Ándale!
¡Arriba, Arriba! ¡Ándale, Ándale!
I was looking at an older woman at the gym today, and while it’s great that she’s a regular, this thought popped up in my head.
I don’t know how old you are, but now’s the time to lose weight, get fit, whatever you want to call it.
N-O-W!!!
Why?
Because as you get older, your metabolism slows down and the rate of protein synthesis declines, making it much, much harder to burn fat and build muscle. That’s why NOW is the time to start, to lay the foundation for your later years.
N-O-W!!!
That means “ahora”, motherfucker!
Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.
Latest posts by Monster Longe (see all)
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