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How To: Banded Pallof Press

How To: Banded Pallof Press written in text with image of a Black woman clasping a resistance band between her interlocked hands in performance of a Pallof press.

How To: Banded Pallof Press

How To: Banded Pallof Press written in text with image of a Black woman clasping a resistance band between her interlocked hands in performance of a Pallof press.

Crunches and the multitude of variations are great for chiseled abs, especially when used in conjunction with a calorie deficit to strip the midsection of fat so what’s underneath can be rubbed in everyone’s face. Be that as it may, crunches and the multitude of variations aren’t so great for the development of a strong and stable core.⁣

This is where the Pallof press enters.⁣

Named after physical therapist John Pallof, who came up with the exercise in 2006, the Pallof press works the muscles responsible for trunk rotation via the active resistance of the rotational pull of the band (or cable, if a pulley system is being used for the exercise) when you extend your arms away from your body during execution of the movement. This anti-rotation engages the entire core musculature and in time leads to stabilization of the spine, which in turn results in a stronger core.⁣

Being that twisting and turning mishaps are a common cause of back injury, it makes sense to train your muscles to resist unwanted rotation. And because a strong core is necessary for the lifting of heavier and heavier loads, it also makes sense to work on core stabilization if you want to improve your squat, deadlift, or any of your other poverty lifts.⁣

But if it doesn’t make sense to you to do the Pallof press, I don’t blame you. After all, how many chicks are going to be impressed when you walk up to them, lift your shirt up, and point to your stable core?!?!⁣

The answer is NONE!!!

Now reverse that.

When you walk up to chicks, lift your shirt up, and point to your chiseled abs like a true player does, how many of them are going to be impressed?⁣

The answer is ALL OF ‘EM!!! Continue reading How To: Banded Pallof Press

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The Toothpaste Method For Stopping Cravings

The Toothpaste Method written in text with image of a toothpaste tube above a toothbrush with a dollop of toothpaste on it.

The Toothpaste Method For Stopping Cravings

The Toothpaste Method written in text with image of a toothpaste tube above a toothbrush with a dollop of toothpaste on it.

So once again you’re home from work, just chilling around the house and maybe watching TV instead of, I don’t know, making better use of your time by, I don’t know, doing the necessary work to start your own business because, I don’t know, your job and the pay sucks major elephantine dick.

…and then hunger strikes!

But you’ve already eaten your last meal for the day and you’re kinda trying to watch what you eat because you’re kinda trying to lose weight and not eating more than you should is kinda how weight loss works.1Yes, really! Eating less food is how you lose weight. I know, fucking mind blowing!

So, ummmmm, what are you to do? Continue reading The Toothpaste Method For Stopping Cravings

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The Ocean Analogy For Fat Loss

Fat Loss Is Like This… written in text with image of an ethnic woman in a body of water.

The Ocean Analogy For Fat Loss

Fat Loss Is Like This… written in text with image of an ethnic woman in a body of water.

If it takes you 6 hours to swim 10 miles into the ocean, how long is it going to take to swim back to shore?1You can’t swim and if you could, you wouldn’t spend 6 hours of your life doing so. While you certainly raise a good point, just play along instead of being a fucking killjoy!

Oooooh, good job!

If swimming into the ocean took hours, you’re absolutely right that swimming back to shore isn’t going to take only a few minutes.

So what’s the fucking point? Continue reading The Ocean Analogy For Fat Loss

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What To Do With Christmas Coal

What To Do: Christmas Coal written in text with image of a Santa hat on top of a pile of coal.

What To Do With Christmas Coal

What To Do: Christmas Coal written in text with image of a Santa hat on top of a pile of coal.

Grilling is a great way to reduce the fat content of meat. That’s because the fat melts and drips off the meat into the grates instead of collecting as a pool, like in a pan, where the meat cooks in its own fat and can get reabsorbed. Something else that grilling has over other cooking methods is that it also helps meat and veggies retain more of their vitamins and minerals.⁣

So there, now you know what to do with allllllllllllllllllllllll that coal Santa brought you for Christmas!⁣

*cough*⁣

Ummmm…not to rush you or anything, but I just helped you out with that huge problem of yours, so this is kinda the part where you say thank you, lest you want to start accruing naughty points towards next year’s load of Christmas coal!

Click through to go to Amazon.com to purchase an ebook by Monster Longe.

Glossary: dietary fat


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Eating Healthy During Christmas: Step-By-Step

How To Enjoy Christmas Food written in text with image of a woman in a red dress and Santa hat holding a turkey.

Eating Healthy During Christmas: Step-By-Step

How To Enjoy Christmas Food written in text with image of a woman in a red dress and Santa hat holding a turkey.

Are you a heathen who’s doomed to burn in hellfire for not believing in Christ because you’re Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh, or some other religion that has you worthy of eternal damnation?

Huh, ARE YOU?!?!

Because you’re not a heathen but someone who had the accident of birth of being born into the one true religion, you’re a Christian. And as a Christian to whom Jesus’ birthday has significance for, you probably want to know how to not fuck up your diet during Christmas.

Because the greatest gift is knowledge (and I don’t know you well enough to wanna splurge any money on you), take these step-by-step instructions for eating healthy during Christmas as my gift to you… Continue reading Eating Healthy During Christmas: Step-By-Step