Category: Glossary

arms

noun [ahrmz]
1. the male glutes — i.e. they’re trained every single day and are the only thing that’s worked out because they’re the only muscle group that exists. see also: SNEAK DISS

Example of arms in a Sentence
I worked on my arms yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before that. Hmmmm…I wonder what I’m gonna work on tomorrow. Hmmmm…

 

2. used by guys to mean only the biceps, not also the triceps and forearms, which is much like how women say they’re working out their legs and give the impression of working out their entire lower body when they actually just mean the glutes. see also: TRANSLATION

Example of arms in a Sentence
We’re going on our millionth exercise for the biceps and I’m starting to think there’s been some confusion here. When you told me you were training arms today and I agreed to join in with you, I was under the idea that we were also going to hit the triceps instead of only doing exercise after fucking exercise for the bis. This is obviously my mistake for assuming!

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COVID-19

noun [koh·vid·nahyn·teen]
a mild to severe respiratory illness that reached global pandemic heights and forced the closure of gyms and other public places to help stop its spread, which finally gave home gym owners an “I told you so” moment for all the times they’ve annoyed anyone about the benefits of working out with no one to show off to, like that’s not the point of fucking working out. see also: PURPOSE

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fitness

noun [fit·nis]
1. the quality or state of being in good physical condition — not an alternate way to express the insertion of some kind of food into your mouth, as commonly employed in a variety of memes people keep reposting like the joke hasn’t already been beaten to fucking death yet. see also: UNORIGINAL

2. the latest trend that most of the people doing it will not be doing in five years. see also: POSEUR

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lifting belt

noun [lifting belt]
1. a flexible band of material that’s commonly worn to protect the back but, contrary to popular belief, does no such thing, thus making it very similar to government, which also doesn’t have our proverbial back though many would like to believe so. see also: DER STAAT (1908)

2. usually made of a wide band of thick leather that’s fastened around the waist by a huge ass buckle; should only be worn for heavy squats and deadlifts but is instead worn at all times and for every exercise because who the fuck doesn’t want to look that stylish?!?! see also: PILGRIM

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leggings

noun [leg·ingz]
1. close-fitting stretch pants worn by women to accentuate the booty to help make their presence in the weight room a little more tolerable to the real people who belong there *cough* men *cough* who’d prefer they did their bullshit booty band workout somewhere the fuck else — like at home, where women belong. see also: SCRIPTURE

2. pants that you wear the same exact pair of every single workout without washing because you think they somehow don’t get dirty and need frequent laundering like any other item of clothing. see also: EWWWWW

3. usually marketed with a promise of making the butt look bigger without having to work out for it, which the buying and wearing of makes sense because none of the randos you hook up with are ever going to see you naked with the lights on because there’s the issue with your face and nobody wanting to see it, hence you always get fucked in the dark. see also: BAMBOOZLE

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