noun [gluhvz]
covering for the hand with separate parts for the fingers and thumb cut off just above the knuckles so the digits are exposed; primarily worn to look like a total badass out of a 1980s music video and show other gym-goers that the wearer is about serious weightlifting business, especially when walking from the car to the gym with them already on. see also: VAGINA
adj [ded·i·key·tid]
a word used by the crazy to describe themselves so as not to come off as crazy as they really are when called obsessed by those who don’t give a fuck about their own health to also count calories and macros, work out religiously, and do other crazy shit to better take care of their body. see also: CAMOUFLAGE
noun [kruhnch]
an exercise that defies human physiology by burning stomach fat to reveal a chiseled six-pack without its performer having to do anything else, like enter a calorie deficit by eating less and/or doing more strenuous shit than moving the upper torso a few inches multiple times. see also: IMAGINATION
noun [ath·lee·zher]
1. gym clothing designed to be worn outside of the gym — like to work, dinner, gallery openings, red carpet events, funerals, EVERYWHERE!!! — by people who mostly gave up on life a long time ago. see also: SURRENDER
Example of athleisure in a Sentence
My closet is full of nothing but athleisure wear because at no point and time do I want to walk into any room and be taken seriously as an adult.
2. gym clothing worn as casual wear by those who want to let everyone know that they work out because their horrible body doesn’t offer enough proof of their doing so. see also: DYEL
Example of athleisure in a Sentence
This lady at work came up to me and asked if I’ve been working out recently. After blushing for a quick bit, I was like “Yeah, I work out. In fact, I’ve been working out for years.” She then said “Oh, it doesn’t look like you’ve been working out for years. Anyway, I’m only asking if you’ve been working out recently because you’ve been coming to the office in shorts, joggers, hoodies, and other athleisure wear for the past two weeks or so. You know that’s not allowed, right? If you don’t, then as the director of HR, I have to inform you that your attire is in flagrant violation of company dress code policy. Anyway, please follow me to my office so we can hash this out.”
noun [sohr·niss]
the pain experienced 24 to 72 hours after a workout that everyone believes is proof that whatever they did is working…even though science has shown it’s not…but still people believe…because people are stupid. see also: IQ
