natty
noun [nat·ee]
1. the “look how pretentious I am” way of saying you’re a drug-free lifter. see also: NO ONE CARES
2. something people say they are when it’s obvious that they’re not. see also: “I’M NOT RACIST”
But I Don’t Wanna!!!
But I Don’t Wanna!!!
I get it.
Your life sucks and you have no energy or desire to go to your crappy ass job, take care of your crappy ass kids, or be in that crappy ass relationship with that crappy ass person you’re in a crappy ass relationship with, let alone go to the gym to work on your crappy ass body.
Concerning the first few things, I don’t know what to tell you because this is a fucking fitness and nutrition blog.
What, you think I’m your fucking psychiatrist?!
As for how to get yourself to work out when you’re depressed?
Damn, if only there was something for you to click and read…
Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.
Latest posts by Monster Longe (see all)
- Weight Loss Tip: no.3745 - November 25, 2024
- Exercise Gloves - November 24, 2024
- How To Eat Healthy During Thanksgiving - November 20, 2024
Oops!… I Did It Again
Oops!… I Did It Again
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m very good with turns of phrases.
Well, about three years ago now, a client of mine who still trains with me because I’m just that lovable proposed that I start making t-shirts with my patented “Monsterisms” on them to help promote my brand. That thought has since sat idle as I’ve directed my energy towards the many other things I have going on.
That is, until now!
You see, I recently started a rewards program to give people points for completing certain actions, with them eligible to redeem their points for a bevy of prizes. One of those prizes is a free t-shirt. Well, my client who initially proposed the t-shirt idea is very close to accumulating the amount of points necessary to win a free t-shirt, which has now put pressure on me to finally get to work on them.*
And get to work I have!
Thus far, I have ideas for three t-shirts, with two of them already designed and the third just needing to be transferred from my brain to a template. The next step is getting them screen printed and then distributed.
What does this have to do with you?
You mean, besides the fact that you’ll be more fashionable in one of my tees, which will be made available for sale and for free via contests and other shit?
Hmmmmmmm…
Well, if you’re having trouble starting towards a goal, it might be beneficial to create something that places pressure on you to begin it. For example, if you still haven’t began working towards your New Year’s resolution to get in better shape before the end of the year, a goal which renders itself to an arbitrary start date, it might be better to shoot to lose 8 lbs in the two months between now and the wedding of the idiot who decided to make you a member of the wedding party.
…and then you go on from there.
Yeah, I did it again.
I found a way to tie something non-fitness related into fitness.
I know, I never cease to amaze!
*email me for details about the rewards program, if you’re interested
Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.
Latest posts by Monster Longe (see all)
- Weight Loss Tip: no.3745 - November 25, 2024
- Exercise Gloves - November 24, 2024
- How To Eat Healthy During Thanksgiving - November 20, 2024
Chest
chest
noun [chest]
1. what Mondays are reserved for…and Tuesdays…and Wednesdays…and Thursdays…and Fridays…and Saturdays…and Sundays. see also: ROUTINE
2. the part of the body that fat loss has ruined for many men whose female partners have lost weight and they’ve then had to pretend to have always been attracted to for other reasons beyond the physical, like their personality. see also: TRAGEDY
MORE WORDS
Not Relatable
Not Relatable
You should track and weigh your food, but instead you’re like the millions of people who don’t and grossly underestimate how many calories they’re eating and still believe they’re not eating that much though they keep getting fatter and fatter.
Because you’re like that, this funny ha-ha shit about the 36 struggles of using MyFitnessPal more than likely won’t be funny ha-ha to you and will more than likely only be funny ha-ha to someone who uses MyFitnessPal (or any other food tracking app) because they give a fuck about their body, which isn’t you.
Oh, well…
Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.
Latest posts by Monster Longe (see all)
- Weight Loss Tip: no.3745 - November 25, 2024
- Exercise Gloves - November 24, 2024
- How To Eat Healthy During Thanksgiving - November 20, 2024
