noun [fawrm]
the technique used in the execution of an exercise movement that someone who looks like shit interrupts your workout about in order to instruct you on proper execution so you too can someday look as shitty as them and move as unimpressive weight as they do. see also: NAZI
noun [gluhvz]
covering for the hand with separate parts for the fingers and thumb cut off just above the knuckles so the digits are exposed; primarily worn to look like a total badass out of a 1980s music video and show other gym-goers that the wearer is about serious weightlifting business, especially when walking from the car to the gym with them already on. see also: VAGINA
adj [ded·i·key·tid]
a word used by the crazy to describe themselves so as not to come off as crazy as they really are when called obsessed by those who don’t give a fuck about their own health to also count calories and macros, work out religiously, and do other crazy shit to better take care of their body. see also: CAMOUFLAGE
I was accused of being sexist a couple of weeks ago because of an arm training article and workout routine that were both written with men specifically in mind. As a self-respecting man, I just couldn’t imagine another fella wanting a tug-job from an Amazon with arms strong enough to crush the human spirit.
But that’s just me, though!
So how do I respond to that accusation of my sexism?
Well, I say…
DAMN FUCKING RIGHT I’M SEXIST AGAINST WOMEN!
I’m a misogynist, too!
But here’s the kicker: I’m also sexist against men and misandrous.
Need proof?
Well, this glute article and this workout routine plus this one were written with women specifically in mind!
So get it straight.
I’m a misanthrope.
I HATE E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y!!!
