I’m a pretty mellow guy, if you can’t tell by now.
And as the pretty mellow guy I fucking am, it takes a lot to really get me going.
Like what?
You mean, besides the sheer audacity of you doubting my mellowness?!
Well, nothing gets me in the mood to commit large-scale genocide quite like someone boo-hooing how bad they want to [insert fitness goal] and then finding an excuse as soon as something comes up that makes working toward [insert fitness goal] a little less than ideal.
Millions of people find time to work out in their busy day of being waaaaaaay more busier than you.
Millions of people are stressed out about any number of things and don’t turn to eating their emotions.
Millions of people are dog tired but muster up the energy to take their ass to the motherfucking gym.
Millions of people still eat healthy even though they have unsupportive family who don’t take their diet seriously and try to undermine them with offerings of crap.
Millions of people travel and still find a way to get a workout in without access to a gym.
Millions of people eat out with their friends without blowing their calories.
But you?
Nah, not you.
Your situation makes it impossible (IMPOSSIBLE!!!, you say) for you to stay on track with your [insert fitness goal].
Sure, whatever you say, snookum pops!
