noun [bod·ee·bil·der] 1. someone who knows how to use weight training to build muscle and lose fat but is somehow viewed as a blithering idiot by you — you who clearly doesn’t know how to use weight training to build muscle and lose fat and keeps failing at it, if your body is any fucking indication. see also: PROJECTION
2. anyone with the hubris to eat properly and lift weights in hope of improving the way they look because they think God’s work can be made better, as if He makes errors and they weren’t made perfect and beautiful in His image. see also: BLASPHEMY
It’s come to my attention that I passed 1,000 followers on Instagram a few days ago.
Being that I’m sitting at 1,541 followers at the time of this writing, my accomplishment was sooooooooo important to me that it totally slipped my mind.
To atone for that, here’s an extremely hollow token of my appreciation to each and every one of you for not changing one iota of my life.
You’re the best!
…oh, but you don’t follow me on Instagram?!
Why is that, huh?
What theeeeee fuck is yoooouuuurrrrrr problem?!?!
Well, because I know you want to rectify that immediately, my username is @m.for.monstruo
Wait, what?!
You don’t have an Instagram account, you say?!?!
Why are you telling me that like it’s supposed to mean somethin’?
…because if you really cared about and wanted to support me, then you’d download the app PRONTO!!!
Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.
noun [ri·zuhlts]
the expected fruits of your labor from working out and eating right without actually laboring to work out and eat right, which is a kinda sorta necessary condition of changing the body. see also: STFU
A client and I had a dust-up a few weeks ago due to her doing the normal female thing of reading too much into shit.
Don’t worry, our torrid love affair is back on now (I’m too irresistible to leave). Anyway, a couple of days after our knock ’em, sock ’em spat, she told me that she happened to come across an article relating to the things that successful people do. One of those things that successful people do is something that I’ve told her numerous times that she’s not guilty of doing, which is what eventually led to our argument after I called her out on her bullshit for the umpteenth time. So, in a roundabout way, she basically admitted that I was right.
Me being right?!
NO SHIT!!!
Well, other than for admitting I was right without having to actually say so, she also forwarded me the article she read with the idea that some of you may find it as beneficial as she did. So I’m passing it on to you. Why? Because you may also find some benefit from it?
Don’t be fucking stupid!
I’m including the link to better give the impression that this post is geared towards your betterment so I can more effectively hide the ulterior motive of my relaying this story, which is to convey that I’m always right, which should save you from embarrassing yourself if you try to question me, which, when you think about it, is indeed educational.
So click HERE to find out what the mentally strong do. It’s a 5-minute read. If, for some reason, 5 minutes is too long to exercise your literacy because you’re too pressed for time, you can do the extremely illogical thing and watch a 15-minute video by the article’s author.
Monster Longe is a personal trainer in San Diego. He has been lifting weights for +25 years and training clients in the gym and online for about half of that time. When not working with clients or making content that's easy to read, understand, and apply to everyday life, he enjoys long walks and leaving buildings crushed and entire city blocks decimated in his wake.
