noun [ek·tuh·mawrf]
an individual who runs around bitching and moaning to anyone who’ll listen that they can’t gain weight no matter how much food they imagine themselves eating, obviously not understanding that fantasy calories don’t translate into real-world gains. see also: ANNOYING
adj [puh·thet·ik]
the effort given by you to stick with your diet, work out regularly, train hard, and do a bunch of other shit that could help you come across like you actually give a fuck about the health and fitness goals you annoyed everyone with at the very beginning. see also: CAREER
noun [pey·shuns]
a person’s ability to start a diet or exercise program and wait a week to lose a bajillion pounds or gain fuckloads of muscle before going ape shit and/or quitting because what they’re doing clearly isn’t working. see also: NOW
noun [suhp·luh·ment]
1. an often overpriced dietary product that’s expected to transform your body or improve your health with little effort of your own apart from swallowing and selling your time for money at a soul-crushing job for the funds necessary to afford it. see also: ABRACADABRA
2. irrefutable proof that you’re not as immune to marketing despite your protestations to the contrary.
3. a nonessential good that some of your discretionary income might go towards buying, thus placing it among iced coffee, avocado toast, and other small, regular purchases that Baby Boomers say is why Millennials will never afford to buy a house — as opposed to the systemic inequality they’ve deliberately engineered by way of the economic policies and business decisions they’ve controlled that now make it impossible to enjoy many of the advantages they’ve benefited from.
verb [suhp·luh·ment]
4.
noun [wuhn·rep maks]
1. the heaviest amount of weight an exercise can be performed with for a single, measly repetition because doing something once is waaaayyyyy more impressive than doing it multiple times. see also: POWERLIFTER
2. a number that no one on the planet or in the nearest solar system gives a fuck about other than you. see also: OUCH
