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Decrease The Goal

Don't increase the effort, decrease the goal — Shit Monster Says

Don't increase the effort, decrease the goal — Shit Monster Says

Whatever you want to do takes a lot of work.

Too much, in fact.

Let’s just look at it.

If you want the body of your dreams, let’s say, then you have to go to the gym before or after yet another physically demanding day stuck behind a desk.

And when you go to the gym before or after yet another physically demanding day stuck behind a desk, you have to grind out reps with heavy ass weight as it feels like your muscles are on fire.

And when you go to the gym before or after yet another physically demanding day stuck behind a desk and grind out reps with heavy ass weight as it feels like your muscles are on fire, you have to bore yourself to death with cardio.

And you have to do that again the next day…

…and the next day after that…

…and the next day after that…

…and the next day aft…you get the fucking point!!!

Boy, is that a lot of work!

But wait, there’s more!!! Continue reading Decrease The Goal

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Get Off Your Ass

Sorry to interrupt your normally scheduled whatever the fuck it is you're doing, but we have some breaking news coming in that you have to get off your ass for the things you want. For more on this development, click through!

Sorry to interrupt your normally scheduled whatever the fuck it is you're doing, but we have some breaking news coming in that you have to get off your ass for the things you want. For more on this development, click through!

You want the body of your dreams but can’t find the time to get off your ass and sculpt it.

Trust me, I sympathize.

After sleeping and working are accounted for, there just aren’t enough hours in the day to squeeze going to the gym in. I mean, especially with you having to binge watch all the Star Wars movies before you spend a week waiting in line outside a theater to be among the first to be disappointed by the latest offering.

There’s just no time to work out with such a hectic schedule!

Hmmmm…

On second thought, it looks like you have time.

Loads of it, in fact! Continue reading Get Off Your Ass

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January

January

noun [jan·yoo·er·ee]
1. a month in the Julian and Gregorian calendars that’s the ONLY time of the year when all goals can be started. see also: LOGICAL

2. when regular members of a gym have the majority of their monthly fees for the entire year subsidized by people who pay for gym memberships they’ll never use again after a few weeks because they’re still in the Christmas spirit of giving. see also: UNDERAPPRECIATED

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Dietary Fat

dietary fat

noun [dahy·i·ter·ee fat]
a macronutrient made up of fatty acids that’s obtained from animal and plant-based products and bears all responsibility for making you fluffy — not you shoving everything within arm’s reach down your bleeping throat. see also: AUDACITY

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