How Do I Start Working Out For The First Time?
Q: All I need to know is how to start working out for the first time. See, I’ve been, shall we say, letting myself go. Even that’s putting it lightly since I make Jabba the Hutt look like a figure of health. Do you know how fucking hard that is?!?! It’s fucking ridiculous. I know I need to do better but…ummmmm…how do I start?!?!
A: How to start working out for the first time?
What an utterly stup…endous question!
Well, for starters, I know you shouldn’t start by realizing that you live in the Information Age and can just type something like “how to start working out” into a search box, which will return a shitload of resources on the subject, such as two of my own that tell you how to start exercising when you’re out of shape and how to start an exercise program after being sedentary for years.
That’d be just stupid to hop online and find workout programs and nutrition plans that take the guesswork out of shit for you; videos showing how to perform exercises with proper form; and blog posts on various topics of nutrition so you know what to eat and why and how much.
How to start getting fit certainly isn’t by doing any of that shit!
Know what else it isn’t by doing?
It most certainly isn’t by the prehistoric way of just getting off your ass and going to the gym and then mimicking others or *gasp* asking some fit looking motherfucker for help!
Neither is it by asking around or, once again, using the search box to hire an online coach who can put together an exercise routine and meal plan for you to help get the ball rolling or, if you need a little more hands-on approach, a personal trainer who’s local to you who can show you around the gym and teach you the basics.
Nope!
How to start working out is certainly not by doing any of that shit!!!
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